Thursday, October 22, 2009

just do it.

Do you ever wonder if the person you perceive yourself as is the same person the world sees you as? Like, do you have ideas about the way you feel towards humanity, but then wonder if anyone else could point that out about you? I do.

I was sitting in my car the other day and a song came on the radio that caught my attention. I wasn't feeling particularly insightful or contemplative at the moment, but all of a sudden I was really struck by the words of this song. The song talked about following God into the darkness and to the broken. I'll be honest that when I first heard the words I thought, "Yeah, that's how it should be. That's how I am." Arrogant, right? I'm sure the "authentic Christian" would probably tell you how they were immediately aware of their inadequacies, but there I was thinking how I was just like this song was saying - always helping and loving people. That those ideals are my ideals.

But then I thought, what if no one else knows that? As I sat there I thought about who I am to other people and what in my actions may tell people that I'm gung-ho about following Jesus into the darkness. Couldn't think of anything. It's true that following Christ through life and bringing hope to the most hopeless places is a deep desire of my heart, but the truth is I haven't done much about that. I haven't jumped at the first chance to spend time doing something that tells another person that they are so loved by The One Most Dear. I haven't even jumped at the second chance. Or third. I've actually been pretty good at letting the music do that for me. Like, as long as I'm singing it it's the truth!

Singing along with the song just doesn't cut it. That's the thing. Life is certainly full of transitional phases and one of those is from college to adulthood. I might argue that the 4 years of college plus two extra years proceeding are just one big transition, but certainly finding a way to settle into a life completely void of class schedules, organized chapels, and prepared meals takes some time. And so here I am in that post-college life making all kinds of excuses why I haven't taken time to contribute to the life of someone in a hopeless situation. I want to be done making excuses about that. I want to commit. We've been doing all kinds of church hopping in the last several months, but have finally decided to land at one and do everything in our power to involve ourselves in their community. I'm so afraid to take the dive sometimes, you know? I think about my parents as this age and realize that they were these great leaders in their small church in their first years of marriage. But I'm realizing now that I just have to do it. Just do it. Like Nike.

So we're going to a church called The Gathering. And it's exciting. And it's new. And we're praying like crazy that the Lord brings us some joy in the much needed form of friends. We've decided that we're not gonna sit on the back row and see what we think, but we're going to dive right in and start participating in some of the great things they're doing for the community. It's so simple. But then, most things are. It just takes a while for us silly ol' human beings to figure it out sometimes.

Sorry for the long blog and the long blog absence! Happy fall!!