And I'll run after You
I'm inspired by music quite a bit. This occasion is no exception. As I'm sure you're all aware, the Lenten season has begun. To be honest, I forgot about Lent this year. It just sorta snuck up on me, but since I remembered I have been having a tough time knowing what to focus on. Last year's sacrifice was so meaningful to me (see it here) and coming up with something equally as moving has felt a little out of reach.
Today I found it. Through a suggestion by my own mother (and you think I don't hear you sometimes....). After explaining her own focus this year she offered that mine might be giving up fear. A novel concept blogged about by myself just two posts below. Why didn't I think of it? Well. I didn't. But sometimes we just don't come up with the great ideas by ourselves. So this year my Lenten sacrifice is fear. And in its place I'll look to the Lord. Hold tight to His security.
But back to the music. Tonight I was hopping in the shower and I was afraid. Ryan isn't home and taking showers while he is gone is one of my most vulnerable points of fear. I can't see. I can't hear. I don't like it. But I have this system. I know exactly what doors to keep open and what lights to keep on so I have a good visual if I need to. I know that if I look in the reflection of the shower tile I can see the bathroom door. And I usually keep the shower curtain open just as an extra precaution. Isn't all that so silly? You're all laughing at me, aren't you? I know. I know. But tonight I had that all lined up and then I remembered the conversation with my mom and I decided to not be afraid.
Oh draw me Lord
And I'll run after You
That's the song I listened to. Draw me Lord and I'll run after you. Even if where you go is scary. Even if where you are is uncomfortable. Just draw me to You. Pretty powerful words. I'd say. And while singing these words didn't eliminate my fear, they did give me hope that I will live unafraid one day.
As I look to Him for strength and peace I trust that He is drawing me near. And i will always run after Him. Always.
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