He wins.

9 days ago something awful happened.

If there were words to sum up my grief surrounding Newtown... I'm not even sure I'd try.

Since then, I've thought about the weight of my son in my arms.

I've thought about the wonderful life I see ahead of him.

And I've thought about the 26 stories. The ones who loved them. How 26 worlds have dramatically shifted because of a man's choice to do the unthinkable. The unspeakable.

My heart grieves these stories.

I haven't read or informed myself very deeply into all the facts of this story. Because I don't need any sort of report to tell me what I already feel. That hearts are broken. I don't need anyone to describe the scenario that I'm already aching from imagining. When I heard the news the pit in my stomach was heavy. And I couldn't shut out the repetitive "Why?". Why God? Why now? Why at all?

Here I am with my community on a journey towards Hope. The last few months we have come together in my world and strived to rekindle the hope that God makes clear in the Bible is alive today. We have promised to not let the world steal our Hope. And we have recognized that if we don't have Hope, then the world may never be healed. But then last Friday. It felt like all that forward movement we made was ripped away in an instant.

And a few days ago I realized what I was up against. Like, fully realized.

It's a war for Hope. It's a brave road that I've decided to go down. And the devil hates it. There really wasn't ever a chance for us to proclaim Hope without a fight. Because where there's light there is no darkness. No darkness means no evil. But he's not going without a fight.

But the beauty of that is my God is stronger.
He is life in death.
He is emmanuel.

I read some really wise words from Ann Voskamp surrounding Newtown. And I think her reminder is a really powerful one. In times like these, the devil loves to see us recant. It's what he aims for, I think. But if I don't have Hope now. In the dark days. Then the devil wins those days. And I refuse for that to happen. Evil just can't win. Love wins. God wins. Hope is alive.


Did you hear me??
HOPE IS ALIVE!

I ache for these families. But I won't give up Hope. Ann says this, " There is no darkness so deep, that God's arms are not deeper still, that we cannot raise our arms in highest praise." 

So I'm raising my arms in highest praise this season. Thanking God that He sent that little baby to save us. That He lives today and He's coming again. He will redeem us. He wins.

Merry Christmas.