my 25.

This is just a thing that has been going around facebook. The idea is that you have to come up with 25 things about yourself if this gets sent to you. So I filled it out. It took me quite a while so I thought it was worthy of the blogging world. 

1. I'm fairly well known for my hesitance towards change. I don't like it, I don't welcome it and I'm terrible at adjusting to it. Something I'm constantly aware of. 

2. When I was little my mom had to seek out the adult role models in my life and tell them not to egg me on because I was so sarcastic and witty that I would hurt their's and other's feelings. I was merely doing what I would do at home with my siblings, I had no idea it was inappropriate in some places. 

3. I didn't learn to really do my hair or put make-up on until I was in college and roommates with my now sister-in-law Aimee. She showed me the way. 

4. I also never owned a purse until I met Aimee. She bought me one for Christmas filled with all the things you are supposed to have in a purse. I had no idea. Now I have like 6. Unfortunately, the original purse burnt in a fire. 

5. Speaking of fires. In the course of 2 months there were 2 fires at my house. The first one I sat in for 2 hours until I realized that something was really wrong. The second one was in the garage. Lost 2 cars and a motorcycle. Bummer. 

6. I wreck vehicles. Not purposefully of course, it just happens. I had 6 cars in 4 years. Totaled 2 cars. Ran 1 into several things. Lost 1 in the fire. And 2 I actually got to sell.

7. I met my husband because he was my brother's neighbor in college. I was 16. And had a boyfriend. 

8. I hate gum. Everything about it I can't stand. People chewing it, the taste, the consistency. Gross. The very worst is when people play with their gum OR they take it out and put it on the edge of something like their plate or cup. 

9. I don't claim to be the most sympathetic person you've ever met. It's not something I'm proud of, but it doesn't come naturally to me. When Ryan and I first started dating I couldn't handle it when he got sick. It just wasn't in me to coddle him or tend to him. This is something I have gotten much better at. But still, I have to try in order to be overly sympathetic. 

10. I started drinking coffee when I was 8 years old. After all the other kids had left for school, sometimes my mom would get me up early and take me to The Yogurt Affair (a place that sadly no longer exists in Nampa) and we would get a Sugar-Free Hazelnut Latte and share it. Eventually I got my own. I still love the taste of those. 

12. The first time I got to ride on a plane was on the way to Disneyland when I was 8. Scott, Stephanie and I sat together and laughed the entire way I think. We discovered that one person could talk through the end of the headphones they gave you and you could hear it through the earpiece. We thought that was reaaaal funny. I also cried because they stopped giving peanuts as was tradition in the past and instead gave pretzels. 

13. Because of that previously mentioned peanut incident, from that point on my dad brought me home a bag of peanuts from all his trips. 

14. My dad traveled a lot for his job. Every once in a while each of the kids got to tag a long with him. I remember one very clearly. We went to lewiston. We stopped in George, WA and ate a place called Martha Inn. Then i got to sit at a trade show for the whole weekend and eat free food and get free stuff. I brought my mom home a bag of lentils. 

15. Stephanie and I shared a room for a significant portion of our lives. In that time we came up with all sorts of things. Banana baseball. In which we kept score in one of our journals and wore pajamas that looked like baseball uniforms. The bat was an inflatable banana. We also had a secret go to sleep handshake. "1-2-3 Go to sleep!" We'd shake from bed to trundle. 

16. I used to fall asleep in my dresser drawer. Steph and I shared a dresser and my drawer was on the bottom close to the floor. Every morning I would open the drawer and sit down in front of it looking at all my shirts and then I'd end up falling asleep in it. 

17. I have an incredible amount of excess skin on my body. I'm a small person, but I have more skin than anyone I know. I don't know how to explain that more in depth but it's the truth. 

18. I am a very not picky eater. I'll pretty much eat anything. And I'll clean my plate and everyone else's around me. The only thing I really can't stand to eat is beets. I hate 'em. My parents used to tell me they tasted like candy. This was false. 

19. I love my birthday. So much in fact that there used to be a rule in my house that I couldn't start talking about my birthday until January 1. 

20. When I played basketball as a kid I was terrible, terrible, terrible! I'd just get so excited when I got the ball that I'd look at my parents and forget to dribble. 

21. I'm a very loyal person. Once I've establish a meaningful bond with someone it's not likely that I will ever go away. 

22. When I'd go to the auction's with my mom, at the end my grandpa would pay Leah and I a quarter to go pick up all the trash left from the crowd. I assume this began my affinity for quarters. Oh, how i love them. I collect them and save them. If you ever leave change laying around it's likely that I'll take the quarters. Ryan gave me a box of perfume the first summer I visited Kansas and I started collecting quarters in it. Then I bought his wedding ring with them. 

23. I play the piano. A lot of people probably don't know that, but I took lessons for 11 years. My grandma first taught me and I inherited the piano I learned on. It's one of my most prized possessions. 

24. When my parents would leave and Scott and I would be home alone we would take all the cushions off the couch, take the hide-a-bed out and make a battle zone. Then we'd jump off the couch and play guns. This was definitely not allowed. 

25. Woo 25!! It seems like this should be a really good one, but all I can think of is that I love soda. And I attribute this to the lack of it in our home growing up. Since my mom couldn't have sugar and was a bit of a health nut anyway we never had soda in our home. I just figure I'm making up for lost time. 

Wow! That was long!

birthday.

It was my birthday on Tuesday. This picture is showing the surprise Ryan had for me when I woke up in the morning. There was a big square of post-it notes on the bathroom mirror and it says "Beautiful" inside. He also stuck notes all over the house with little sayings on them. Like, You're Pretty! And, We're Happy! It was funny. However, I have to say the best part was a video that Ryan put together of all the people I love the most telling me happy birthday. He apparently sent an email out to a bunch of people asking them to send him a video wishing me happy birthday and they all did! It was the best way to start my 21st birthday. Every holiday or occasion that comes along makes me miss my family of course, but It was good to just be with my husband and live the dream. At least I think that's what we're doing.  Welp, go 21!

i've been married a year, i went on vacation, and i learned a little about life.

Wow! What a season. We've just spent the last two weeks traveling to all sorts of places including LA, Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, Nampa, and San Francisco. Some of those were just connecting flights, but still it's been a crazy month of December and a wonderful Christmas. It was just what we needed to be surrounded by the people we love the very most. God has truly blessed us with families hasn't He? I'd say. 

Anyway, I wanted to say a little something about generosity. Because through this season it's been the giving without expectation of anything in return that has truly touched my heart. When I was in Nampa with my family I was thinking about wanting to write a new post and I was pondering what I wanted to say to really recap my past month and I decided I wanted to sum it up with this concept, this act - of generosity. 

I wish each of you could have the chance to sit down and know my parents. They're fairly remarkable individuals who have a pretty wonderful story to tell. Really, it's not that outstanding in the typical ways. They don't have ultra cool jobs, they've never invented anything major, you probably can't google their names and find out much about them and their wild successes in life, but they've touched and been a significant part of so many lives. And in the yard of my parents home is a sign that is really faded, but has become a bit of a landmark in finding their place because painted on it in big letters is, The Sewards, and underneath that it says, God Has Provided. This sign has a story behind it that relates to how we came about to be able to have our home, but more than that it serves as a theme for the way my family functions. We are constantly living in the truth that God has provided - and He always does. Time and time again my parents could tell you the ways that we were at our lowest point and something or someone came along allowing us to continue along. It always amazes me. And it's because God constantly provides for my family that my parents are constantly giving all that they have. Themselves, their things. Nothing is too valuable to them when someone else needs it's more. It's been such a faithful reminder and example to Ryan and I to share what we have. 

It's easy to not live very generously being newly married. You feel like you need to build up a bit of a trust before you can start just divvying it out to the masses. But then I'm reminded about how fortunate we are. How, compared to the rest of the world, we have everything we could ever need. Nothing we have is our own. It's only through God's provisions that we are able to do any of what we do and I need to be more aware of that and more active because of it. I want to give the world what I have. I want every person in the world to have clean water to drink... before I buy more furniture, or more clothes, or more of anything that I already have. And I want to do it because Jesus gave me the world. 

So I hope you had a Merry Christmas and I hope you begin to live a little more generously. If you want. :) 

i love christmas.

I love Christmas. I do. I always have. When we were younger, my sister and I used to itch to listen to Christmas music as early as possible. In my home, of course, there were classic albums that were played over and over during the holidays. Really, the only albums we owned. This may have been because we only bought Christmas music during one era of our lives and never got around to getting upgrades or (the more obvious and likely answer) these are the best Christmas albums to ever exist. Hard to say. Nevertheless, Christmas with the Stars 1996, Philips, Craig and Dean: Repeat the Sounding Joy, and the Dominic the Donkey tape are the songs permanently associated with the holidays in my heart. 

I just love the joy of Christmas. I love the way my heart feels so full when my family is together. There is something about the holiday season in America that just makes whatever really awful stuff is going on seem a little less in the forefront of our minds and brings the simply wonderful things to our attention. And it's not that people don't hurt over Christmas. Because I know they do. I know that for some Christmas is a dreaded time of year. But I also know that people are good. And they care for others. And that Christmas is one of the biggest times of year that people look beyond themselves and give to others. I love that too. 

Tonight I got to hear some pretty remarkable Christmas music and all at once I found myself swept away in the beauty of... well, Christmas. Not the holidays and the activities. Not even my family or our traditions. But the fact that Jesus - my Jesus - was born. It might sound silly or cheesy or naive, but the reason I love Christmas is because a baby boy was born and that same tiny little infant grew up into a man that cared so deeply for people that He died for them. For me.  I love the way that music makes my heart and soul stir. The way that I can feel deep inside me the words of these simple, familiar songs. I don't care that I've heard them thousands of times, a thousand different ways... I resonate with them.-- O holy night! The stars are brightly shining! This is the night of our dear Savior's birth. Fall on your knees! Can you hear the angel's voices? What a divine night! This night, when Christ was born. -- I just can't think of a more beautiful way to rejoice in the birth of Jesus. That's all. 

I love that Christmas reminds us to rejoice. To stop what we're doing and take some time to just say words like, Gloria! and Emmanuel! and Hark! Haha. We don't often allow ourselves or find ourselves in a position where it's comfortable to outwardly exclaim that we are so happy that Jesus was born and that he lived and lives still today. And tonight I just loved being swept away in that glory. Hope that's okay with you. And I don't mean to neglect those who experience less than okay holiday seasons for various reason. Because I know how important it is to be actively reaching out and seeing those people, helping them, and telling them that a baby was born so that they could have life. You know? Yeah. I just want to take some time to revel in the blessings of a time of year set aside to remember. Remember Jesus and family and hope and healing. 

A Blessed Christmas Season to you! 

something greater.

Something monumental happened to me this weekend. I hung out with a group of girls. There is really nothing more to it, just that I was invited to and accepted the invitation to watch a movie with a group of girls. It was so good to be able to feel like I was apart of something again. I'll admit I've been hesitant to jump into any sort of friendship here because in my mind that means letting go of some of the dearest people I've ever known. But I can have both. And I do have both. I don't mean to be over-dramatic about something seemingly insignificant, but I'm deciding to outwardly praise God for providing this small stepping stone to hope that I can have a meaningful life here. 

On another note. I just finished reading a note that a friend posted on facebook that really just blessed my heart a little. Don't you love to feel your heart be moved by something? I was struck by the way that my heart felt after reading this note because I realized that it was a feeling that I don't think I have felt in quite some time. I don't know about you, but I have this need to be apart of something greater than myself. Whether it be a body of people or a worthy cause I know that my life was meant to contribute in ways that I'm not really sure of. I was reminded today of how easy it is to be swept away by life's circumstances and start thinking of only my own life's happenings. But there is an entire world that needs us. There are greater things to be a part of. Even just through everyday interaction and conversation. As humans we are constantly contributing to each other's lives. I don't want to do so in a passive and unintentional way. Sometimes I just think it is nice to be reminded that our stuff isn't the only stuff and while it's important to be an active participant in your immediate surroundings there is also so much more. There are people and places that need us. So I am going to start seeking more intently the ways that God has for me to contribute to this life. Maybe it's big. Maybe it's small. But I know that I can't just do nothing.

That may have not made a lot of sense, but I'm hoping for the best. Sometimes blogging doesn't always come as easily as I wish it would. :) Happy Thanksgiving! 

support.

Brace yourself, I'm about to mention the election. As you may well know the United States of America just elected their 44th president who is also the first black man to obtain this highly regarded position. If you don't know... well, yikes! 

Anyway, what an experience it has been. So many new things. One of those things being the large number of young people who got involved. Something this nation hasn't really seen in quite some time. The downside, however, of the young turnout is how irrational and passionate they/we can be. The night of the election Ryan and I spent some time on facebook watching everyone's reaction to the results. Lots of excitement as well as lots of disappointment. For those whose candidate did not win, the comments were less than respectful. I don't mean to generalize, because there were also many people who were gracious in the defeat, but it made me sad to see many of my Christian friends speak so hateful towards another person. And what really gets me is that many of these people speak this way because of the example shown to them in their own homes. Parents teach their kids to be hateful, to speak hatefully. When did it ever become acceptable for Christians especially to speak so terribly about or to other people under the name of politics? People are saying things like, "There goes all my money to people who don't work for it!" What a tragedy that this is the life we've claimed as the people that were called to live a selfless and love-filled life. Angry at the president-elect because of our money being taken away. But... I thought it was God's money? Is that incorrect? The attitude of being deserving of things of this earth is a very backwards one in my mind. Regardless of who I supported in this election, as an American I choose to support our new president. Because that's what brings unity and peace to a nation. 

Aside from the election, I had the amazing opportunity to give Nampa a surprise visit this last week. Probably the best trip ever AND I got Aimee good. Classic. I miss all those kiddies in Idaho, but thank you for a wonderful visit. It was just what I needed. Peace dudes. 

give me jesus.

I had the interesting experience this weekend of hearing a song and having it comfort me in a completely different way than it did the last time I can recall. Isn't it interesting how life often occurs in cycles like that? We visited a church on Sunday that... well, it wasn't great. However, this song that I'm referring to was sung and it was quite fitting for the time of year that it is. 

I'll just get right down to it. 5 years ago this weekend my brother's best friend died. An event that truly changed his and our entire family's lives forever. For the first time this anniversary of his death has felt like a lot of time has past. I was 15 and now I'm married. Crazy. Anyway, Scott and I sang a song called, Give Me Jesus at his funeral and that's the song they sang yesterday at this church. I was listening to the song later in the day, thinking about those days after Ryan died. Those were sad days, hard days. But what an extraordinary journey it has been and how faithfully present Jesus has been through it all. I praise God for the times that I can look back on my life and see His provisions along the way. 

Aside from Ryan, that song sang new words to me yesterday. The last couple of weeks have been hard for me. Feelings of loneliness have seemed somewhat overwhelming from time to time. To be honest, God has felt far away too. But in the words of that song I was reminded how Jesus is near every step of the way. There will be hard days. There are hard days. And I will keep going. Until one day I can look back and say the same thing I said above about how I'm feeling right now. God will provide. He always has. God will provide. He always has. 

In the morning when I rise, when I am alone, and when I come to die, give me Jesus.