upstairs.

The girl upstairs has been playing the guitar for the past 3 hours. It sounds terrible. She keeps stopping and starting.  Neighbors are not our friends. Not even a little. 

ethics-kid.

Well, it's Friday of the first week back. Not bad. I just found out this week that there are only about 23 school days left in the year. So that's encouraging to know. I think Ryan might actually finish this semester WITHOUT a chapel fine, believe it or not. It may be the first time. There's a big Art vs. Music Kickball game today at 5:30. I'm not really sure how I feel about it, but I'll be there. Livin' that kickball dream. I hope someone videotapes. 

So I had Ethics this morning. I really enjoy the class and often leave feeling very challenged and motivated. It's been nice to learn and think about some really crucial ideas about morality. However, there are some people in that class that drive me nuts! Today one kid in particular. You know those people who feel like it is necessary to say something about everything in a way that indicates they, in fact, know all there is to know? This kid was one of those. And I can almost guarantee that he does NOT know all that he thinks he does. First of all, he is a freshman. Not that I devalue freshman in any way, but when you are in a room with mostly people older than yourself I would say it would bode well for you to take into consideration the older views. Right? Anyway, this kid just starts going off about how its IMPOSSIBLE for America to ever change, that people are ALWAYS selfish because they will NEVER see past themselves, it's JUST human nature. All spoken as fact. He's obviously trying to play the role of total realist who see's the world just how it is - he doesn't need to "dress it up". That kind of attitude drives me nuts. Especially, as a Christian (both he and I). I mean, how will the world ever change if even Christian people think there is no hope for change in the world?? The one thing that gets me most is that this kid would probably argue that he really does believe that people can change, but he was "just saying." I just feel like a lot of times that's the problem. How can change occur when everyone is speaking in negatives? Words are not just words. We live by words! A majority of our lives or formed by what we say and hear said. You can't just assume that saying people are always going to be selfish and are incapable of acting altruistically has no effect on those that hear you. Who is this kid to even say things like that? 

Then I thought, that kid's god must be pretty small. Because my God is way bigger than any selfish human desires. My God can change the world. And probably that is what it boils down to. Speaking in the way that this kid spoke really makes God sound so much less capable. It scares me when we limit God so much. There is not limit with Him. So why do we say that He can only work in certain ways? In certain surroundings? Only as far as human boundaries? Something to think about. 

Anyway, sorry for the long blog and somewhat confusing middle section. Blogs are for venting right? :) 

Have a wonderful weekend! 

recap.

Just thought I'd talk a little bit about my past week. First of all, it was great to surprise my father-in-law for his fiftieth birthday. We got him good. I just love a good surprise. Especially when it involves a Cork. One thing I've learned about our two families is that my family will jump at any chance to catch someone off guard. We just love that element of suspense. The Cork side, however, seems to like things a bit more planned out. So, needless to say, it was pretty awesome to see Mark jump up with complete confusion and joy. Love it. 

Second, being in Kansas made moving there in 3 months a little bit more of a reality and to be honest it was hard. I'm not sure that I really fit in there and there's so much that I am going to have to learn. You have to understand, I've never moved - not that I can recall at least - so leaving the only place I've ever lived is kind of a big deal. Olathe is big... well, bigger than Nampa. And there are like millions of roads to remember and just when I think I've got it, I'm completely lost. I know I'm going to be calling Ryan some days just crying because I have no idea where I am. Really, I'm afraid. And sad. I love my family and my dear friends. I'll be leaving at some of the most pivotal points of their lives and I'm afraid I'll miss it. I've never had to make new friends and I'm afraid doing so will present a much bigger challenge than I wish it would be. I'm trying so hard to know that God is bigger than it all, but I'm realizing that my heart is a little heavy knowing I'll be leaving so... leaving indefinitely. So with that said, I think it's almost time to start learning to say goodbye - not all the way, just not holding so tight. Bear with me. 

Third, Easter was yesterday. I love Easter. I spent the first little bit of it on a plane, starting at 5 in the morning Kansas time which is 4 in Idaho. We were exhausted and even after taking a 3 hour nap still mananged to sleep in today until 10. But that's not the subject. Easter. Every year my church puts on this pageant called No Greater Love. NGL (as us old timers call it) has become such an integral part of my Easter season and I love it. It's cheesy and it's a little over dramatic, but in the end I'm always reminded of how awesome a God I serve. A God that lives. I just think that's amazing. I've been reading a Donald Miller book in which he talks about a relational God. How humans have always and continually pursue a relationship with the Creator and how He longs for the same. A perfect reminder in this season that our relationship with God is not inanimate, but active and living and real. I'm just really thankful for that. 

Happy Easter everyone! 

america. the beautiful.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with thoughts that things are going to start to go really terribly really soon. Sometimes they're strictly about my life, but sometimes they extend to worldly concerns and the other night one of these overwhelming experiences occurred. It was about America. 

There's a lot of stuff going on right now in this here country, you know? War, poor economy, high gas prices, depletion of all our resources, lots of people hate us, the list goes on and on. So, the other night I was laying in bed when I decided that I think I'm fairly concerned about all this. All of a sudden I could just see America being taken over by another country and really making us pay for all the resources we've used and money we owe. I realize this may sound a bit dramatic and I'm not trying to make it sound creepy in any way. I just feel a little helpless knowing that so much is going on that could really potentially end poorly for us. I'm kind of afraid. I am really hoping to be proved wrong. Really really. 

To be honest, I don't really know what the purpose of this post is. I just wanted to vocalize those thoughts to this blog. Maybe that is just all to say I shouldn't watch the news as much. It's depressing. 

this is our bed.

here is a not very good picture of our very awesome bed. It's kind of hard to really capture it since our room is too small to get a picture of the whole bed. but oh well. i love it and it's awesome. built by scott seward.

a bed and spring break.

FIRST. happy day we got a bed! The other night my dear brother Scott brought over the newly finished bed he has been working on for a couple of weeks. It's quite spectacular. I'd even venture to say that it may be one of the sweetest beds I have ever seen. Sleeping away from the ground has been a nice addition to the week as well. As trivial as it may seem, I feel a little more grown up and married style with a real bed. I like it. 

SECOND. Spring break has finally arrived and the amount of excitement and relief that I am experiencing is immeasurable. For some reason this long stretch of the semester has just felt endless and not very fun. I gladly welcome the chance to spend time with family and not be working. It's been interesting because since we have found out that we will be moving to Kansas this summer my job and school have just had a lot less appeal. Before I had no real feelings against either. I really love my job, but for some reason I'm ready to get time away from there. I'm sure these feelings will subside once I'm feeling quite lonely in Kansas. We'll see. 

Either way. I'm so happy to be taking some time to chill out. Praise God for beds and spring breaks! 

My house smells.

No seriously. I feel like every time I walk into this place all I smell is something I don't want to my house to smell like. Don't get the wrong idea, my house doesn't smell because there are piles of trash everywhere and we do laundry maybe once a month. No, no, I assure you that is not that problem (nor is that true). The most probable cause of this said smell is the lack of space we have. I am estimated that our apartment is just about 300-400 square feet. Therefore, when even one little scrap of food goes into the trash can its lovely aroma fills the air. Do we have a garbage disposal you ask? Ah, yes. Yes, we do. Unfortunately sticking things in it turns out to be less convenient then one would hope since we have to eventually stick our hands in it days later and dig out everything that went down. 

These are the joys of living in a small apartment. To be honest, I'm a little ready to get out of here. No complaints about our state of living by any means, it is just sufficiently inconvenient. The way that every time one article of clothing or piece of paper touches the ground the entire house is instantly in need of cleaning. I think these sudden feelings of claustrophobia in my home are just anticipations of spring. I LOVE this sun we've been seeing. 

So get outside! It'll make you more tolerant of your current state. 

devote.

DEVOTE. is written on two post-it notes stuck together on my nightstand. Since we have yet to get our bed off the floor these post-its are right at my eye level when I lay down to go to bed each night. I've written this small reminder to myself because for lent I decided that I would faithfully do a devotional before bed every night and that I would take it seriously. I say "take it seriously" because I'm using a book and many times these books that lay out how our thoughts are supposed to go during time spent with God get discounted for their lack of... something. So here I am, this 5th week of lent, thinking about my devoting experience. 

Having been a Christian in a Christian home my whole life silly things like devotional books never really seem to cut it. I've bought several (you know the ones I'm talking about. Each day of the month laid out. Step-by-step instructions) and every time I start them I just get bored and stop reading them. But this experience has been different for me. I can't say it's because of this remarkable book that I found, but I feel like it's because of the commitment I made for the season. I enjoy the book, but more importantly I'm taking it seriously. When it says pray, I pray. When it says read the passage again, I read it again. A lot of times I feel reluctant to do what it says because I feel like I got it the first time just fine. Or maybe I'll just pray later and give what it said a little thought. I'm just wondering if sometimes long-time Christians feel exempt from the simplicity of something as fundamental as devotions? Because the reality is that these past 5 weeks of devoting have really been great for me. My determination to gain something from what I read and what I pray has in fact helped me gain something. Devotions are such a hit or miss deal. But sometimes I wonder if we set them up for failure before we even open the book (any book). 

Anyway, give it a try. Pull out a devotional that you might have dismissed before. And follow it's direction. Pray when it says pray. See how being willing to follow through on the simple tasks turns out to be fairly rewarding as far as bring Christ to the forefront of your thoughts. It did mine.