i rule.

I realized something about myself a couple nights ago while hanging out with some people at our apartment's pool. I've been there a couple times and there are allllways people drinking like crazy. It's really quite funny because these people just hang out at the pool literally all day long. Just drinking away. My reaction to all of this was/is this has to be against the rules. 

There's a big sign posted on one of the fences of the pool that has the "Pool Policies" on it and I have been wanting to go read it for a while now. I wanna see what it says about drinking.... and just overall pool conduct, you know... anything I might need to be aware of. I haven't had the chance to read it though because there are always people sitting in front of it and I don't want to be that nerd so I just stay on my chair and play it cool. No big deal. 

But here's my big realization: I live for rules. Truthfully, this is not a brand new realization for me, but the magnitude to which I abide by rules dawned on me the other night in the pool. My friends were jumping of the part of the pool that pours into a lower pool and I was watching them thinking, "I bet they're not supposed to be doing that." Then I laughed at myself because I figured that most people in life don't seek out the rules so that they may be followed. They probably just keep doing things until someone says they can't... and then they stop... maybe. They probably don't ask for copies of their lease contract and read it several times to be sure they're doing everything right. 

This whole sequence of thoughts just made me laugh a little. I was just thinking about my desire to read those pool policies and not having the opportunity to was making me antsy. I should probably try and let go a little. Or maybe just continue my need for rules that is like a silent glue that holds my life together. Hard to say. :)