And I'll run after You
I'm inspired by music quite a bit. This occasion is no exception. As I'm sure you're all aware, the Lenten season has begun. To be honest, I forgot about Lent this year. It just sorta snuck up on me, but since I remembered I have been having a tough time knowing what to focus on. Last year's sacrifice was so meaningful to me (see it here) and coming up with something equally as moving has felt a little out of reach.
Today I found it. Through a suggestion by my own mother (and you think I don't hear you sometimes....). After explaining her own focus this year she offered that mine might be giving up fear. A novel concept blogged about by myself just two posts below. Why didn't I think of it? Well. I didn't. But sometimes we just don't come up with the great ideas by ourselves. So this year my Lenten sacrifice is fear. And in its place I'll look to the Lord. Hold tight to His security.
But back to the music. Tonight I was hopping in the shower and I was afraid. Ryan isn't home and taking showers while he is gone is one of my most vulnerable points of fear. I can't see. I can't hear. I don't like it. But I have this system. I know exactly what doors to keep open and what lights to keep on so I have a good visual if I need to. I know that if I look in the reflection of the shower tile I can see the bathroom door. And I usually keep the shower curtain open just as an extra precaution. Isn't all that so silly? You're all laughing at me, aren't you? I know. I know. But tonight I had that all lined up and then I remembered the conversation with my mom and I decided to not be afraid.
Oh draw me Lord
And I'll run after You
That's the song I listened to. Draw me Lord and I'll run after you. Even if where you go is scary. Even if where you are is uncomfortable. Just draw me to You. Pretty powerful words. I'd say. And while singing these words didn't eliminate my fear, they did give me hope that I will live unafraid one day.
As I look to Him for strength and peace I trust that He is drawing me near. And i will always run after Him. Always.
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6 comments:
I relate to you in the fear of the Shower when home alone! I wasn't laughing at you at all :) Great that you used that song and God to help you through. Best of luck to you! I will pray that your fears may be washed away by the Lord, and if they are not washed away that you may find peace in him through those fears!
Claire, this post means so much to me...probably because i know EXACTLY what you mean. fear is something i have always dealt with. i could tell you stories of things i do that are just crazy. i hate it. i hate the stupid devil for bringing fear. since i have been married it's been a lot better...but i'm with you and still don't like certain things, like the showers alone in the house. this is a song that has helped me immensely...really it's just a one line... "the same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me." when i'm afraid i sing this almost every time...helps every time. thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. :)
i stumbled & landed here...don't know how but i do know why. this was a message i needed today. isn't God just the greatest???? thanks. pat
Your posts really ring true with me. I can relate to you about the fear. I've been crippled with anxiety since I was about 6, and I am just now starting to control it and not let it conrtol me. I will pray for you, that through God and the good people around you, that you may overcome some of your fears.
God Bless
~Erin
Hello Claire,
Many people would be afraid to express themselves so openly, and others might not have the courage to even admit to themselves that they have a problem. You are ahead of the game!
Regardless of our problems, even if they go unresolved, our trials in life can prepare us to help someone else. We can then have true empathy.
It is not easy to do, but I remind myself that if I focus on me too much, my problems, my shortcomings, then I am not focusing on God. I am letting me, myself and I get in the way.
God has the power; God is the power, and he can work through us regardless of our flaws.
i thought i was the only one. i hate showering when no one is home.
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